


The Truth Behind Kiibo

by Mel_will_not_smell



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Dick mention, I don't know much about the game other than who lives and who dies, I got way too into this, Multi, Those tags took forever man, also idk who's got a first name and who's got a last name I just call them what I like, also very confuse robot, do robots have dicks??????, no sans and kuns I will get those wrong, no spoilers tho, oh I guess I should do some important tags, people who know me will know that this is an idea I've had for a long time, sex mention, this is a crack fic if that wasn't obvious enough, very sad robot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 05:13:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10073600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mel_will_not_smell/pseuds/Mel_will_not_smell
Summary: Running around at the speed of sound fastest hedgehog around Kaede and Saihara go on an adventure to find Kiibo and make him chill and do robots have dicks??????





	

Kiibo was talking with Kaede and Saihara about possible ways to escape the prison, when Ouma came out and dragged Kiibo out into a different room. 

From what the detective and pianist could make out, the two were arguing. It wasn't much of a surprise though since Ouma is just a dick to everyone. Suddenly Kiibo came running out crying what they think is oil. 

"FOR THE LAST TIME I DO NOT HAVE A DICK!!"

In the distance a loud nishinishi was erupting before Ouma rushed out screaming and laughing.

"BUT ARE YOU SURE??????"

"YES I AM SURE!!!!!!!"

"BUT ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE SURE?????"

"Y E S NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"

Ouma bursts out in a sprint trying to catch the robot attempting to run from him, yelling about how he needs to check to make sure. Kaede and Saihara exchange worried glances before going back to the conversation they were having before. At least they were planning to until Kirumi zoomed in claiming she heard messes being made, and sure enough Kiibo left a trial of his oil tear things behind him. The maid quickly began cleaning while telling the other two to stop Kiibo from crying so the mess will be at a minimum. They ran as fast as they could, using the power of Mozart and Sherlock Holmes or something like that. 

Mid way through the trail, they come across Tenko, Himiko, and Angie. Tenko looks to the side in disgust. 

"Ugh, men. Why should anyone care about anything as pointless and gross as a dick anyways?" 

Kaede spoke up first, since she knew Tenko wouldn't answer Saihara that well. 

"Uh, so I'm guessing that you three saw Kiibo and Ouma running down here then?"

"What gave it away, the oil trail or the literal complaints about them Tenko just said?" Himiko muttered out. 

Ignoring Himiko's sarcastic remark, Angie jumped up with her usual happiness. 

"Yes yes!! Angie saw Kiibo and Ouma run that-a-way!! And Angie believes that Kamisama will lead you right into them!!" 

"Although finding two boys like them is really stupid." Tenko said, sticking her tongue out. 

Saihara thanked them all, ignoring the insults Tenko spewed his way. And with that they were on their way to finding the crying robot. 

It seemed like they were almost there when they heard a big boom, and ran even faster to find not just Kiibo and Ouma, but also a huge hole in the wall. It didn't take long before the rest of the students gathered around there too. 

A large shadow was in the hole, and when he walked out it was someone none of them have ever seen. The whole room was quite until Saihara finally decided to speak up. 

"Uhm... who are you?"

The man looked completely pissed but he replied, just about as douchey as someone could reply.

"How dare you don't know who I am. I am the heir to the Togami empire, Byakuya Togami. Learn it because I won't be telling you again." Of course he ends up stating his name many many many times after this. Next it was Iruma who spoke. 

"I see I see, you got some nice legs and a nice ass to go along with it. I'll admit, you are a perfectly good fuckable man if I've ever seen one hehe!" She threw him a wink before Gonta slowly dragged her to the back of the room and asked his own question. 

"As a fellow gentleman, Gonta must ask why you came to a place like this. Is it possible you have come to save us?" 

"Heh, like any of you peasants are worthy saving. I'm just here to collect my robot."

Everyone turned to Kiibo, watching him slowly back away with a nervous expression and his ahoge turning into the question mark shape again. This would explain why people have shoved 'parts' over his own 'parts'.

"Wh-what? Why are you all looking at me? I'm not his robot! I'm not anyone's robot! I'm my own robot!!"

"Actually, he is in fact my robot. Look at the back of his neck under his collar, it should have BT initialized there. He is just a sex bot with erased data so I'm surprised you all haven't figured out about this sooner. You all really must be imbeciles."

Ouma immediately popped up, on the verge of screaming.

"WAIT SO DOES THAT MEAN HE ACTUALLY DOES HAVE A DICK???"

Iruma ran up next to Ouma, also anxious to know the answer to the universe. 

"Well I mean, he's a sex bot, so yeah he's got a dick. The esteemed Byakuya Togami has seen it before."

Ouma was on the verge of exploding, running up to Kiibo with starry eyes and violently shaking him screaming "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODDDDD!!!!" Obviously Iruma joined in, she defiantly wants a piece of that robot in the future ;)

While the two were screaming and Tenko was slowly leaving the room because this was just too gross for her, Saihara asked the second most important question ever said ever. (In a John Mulany voice probably)

"Why? Why do you do this?"

Byakuya quickly turned next to himself and pointed. 

"Tell them Naegi!! Oh wait, he's not here..." He then scans the room and points at Kaede. "You! You look protagonistish. Tell them female Naegi... Komaru... whatever. Just tell them."

Kaede immediately froze. At least he wasn't too far off on her name, but why would she know why he built a sex bot??? She just stood there mumbling "Uhhhhh..........." 

"Heh, seems like this question was too complex for you. That's another point for Byakuya Togami. The answer was because we couldn't have a game without a Togami. Also because sex is fun. That is all. You are all free to go now."

They were all free and ran around and shit and then they all had sex with Kiibo and Hoshi grew like five feet in height and evolved into a new phase of Jojo while Maki got mad at Momota and let him go to space at long last by chucking him into the sun. 

And that's the true ending to how DRV3 ended you're all welcome.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok ok so it's pretty late now and I can't believe I've finally put this thought into story form. Like tbh before they announced the talents and even afterwards I was so sure Kiibo was the new Togami and that he was a sex bot made by the Togami company. My evidence: his ahoge that goes in the question mark shape. It's in that position because he's so confused why people have sex with him. Also I'm 99% sure he doesn't know what a dick is. He's a robot, he only knows the technical term which is penis. I could continue my arguement for days probably but I hope you enjoy my idea put in a story.


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